On the eve of my 3 year wedding anniversary, I wrote an article on my blog detailing my thoughts on marriage thus far. It occurred to me that others might find it useful and that it would be a good fit for the “marriage” section of Huffington Post. Only there isn’t a section for marriage on Huff Post.
What you will find is a “Wedding” page devoted to linens and silverware and best man speeches and a “Divorce” page that details a step by step how to on calling it quits, tips to navigate lawyer lingo and life after the breakup. But what is most concerning is the caption heading under the landing page for the divorce section: “marriages come and go, but divorce is forever“. Excuse me, what? Yeah, I get it – divorce is permanent. But marriages come and go? Seriously, this is the chosen tagline?
When we start to put more emphasis on the appetizer and the dessert it leaves no room to focus on the meat and potatoes. If your feeling a little lost with this analogy, let me reiterate. When the party (wedding) and the after party (divorce) become the focal point above and beyond the actual marriage, we have a serious societal problem. Furthermore, when we start addressing marriage as a fleeting occurrence, we debase the very foundation it is built on.
When I was planning my wedding I spent a lot of time obsessing about seating charts, bridesmaid gowns and floral arrangements. I alone crashed the websites of both Pinterest and Etsy looking for the unique ideas and perfect reception decorations. It was all about the party because let’s face it – that’s the fun part.
And as a child of a divorced family I can wholeheartedly say that I wish there had been more resources for me and my family when we were going through the separation. Divorces can be extremely traumatic, often leaving deep wounds and scars for all involved. And I get it – not all marriages are happy ones and the effect of a bad marriage can be felt throughout society. So, I applaud the writers and Huff Post for addressing the concerns of those affected by divorce and giving them access to a community of people they can lean on.
Because we are a culture so afflicted by failed relationships, makes it even more important that we highlight the MARRIAGE part of the story. As a young married woman, I find it disappointing that as one of the leading online publications, Huff Post has missed the mark on helping us more aptly navigate one of the most crucial relationships in our lives – our marriages. And I’m not talking about vague write ups on sex, online dating or finding love in the 21st century. I’m talking about good old fashion marriage advice – after all it takes a village.
I personally challenge Huff Post to help reverse the trend of steadily rising divorce rates, single-parent families and displaced children by giving us relevant content that assists in making marriages last forever – not just divorces. I’m not asking that we ban the wedding and divorce sections. – that would be ridiculous.
I am, however, asking that we make marriage just as or more important than these topics. Let’s start engaging in modern, current marital discussions that glorify this sacred union and advocate for problem solving, self-reflection, emotional intelligence, healthy habits, teamwork and all of the other ingredients that make for happy individuals and happy couples. I want to be very clear – I’m not promoting that people stay in unhealthy marriages bur rather they stay strong in their marriages – if that is the desire.
How can we overlook something so important to the well being of millions?
What are your thoughts?
– The Confessioness
***My original article was eventually published on Huff Post under the “Divorce” section – much to my dismay. You can find it here. If you agree (and I realize not all of you will) – please “like”, comment and share this article in an effort to bring awareness to Huff Post!